when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
