There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
