Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
