I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
