We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
