you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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