Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
