I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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