I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want her autograph on my taint
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
