spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
