i need an iv and a liver transplant
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
