who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
