I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
