Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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