I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
