I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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