sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
