wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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