I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It's Friday. Sex?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Randomize
