thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
