Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry emmilee hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?

(313): View more from Michigan

Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!

(630): View more from Illinois

U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?

Fav 16 1484 1405
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

Fav 22 2965 998
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

Fav 30 5834 831
share tweet
(806): View more from Texas

You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."

(1-806): View more from Texas

Best pick-up line ever!

Fav 35 10254 1635
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

Fav 6 3588 1305
share tweet
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans

Fav 7 3398 1100
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.

Fav 6 3350 1320
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.

Fav 2 31 55
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.

Fav 0 11 68
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT