I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
