ya dads aren't the best wingmen
one might say we're banned from that church
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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