I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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