i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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