I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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