i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
