where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Define "chronic" masturbator.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
