Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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