gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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