is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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