I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
