I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
