how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
