I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is wine microwaveable?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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