We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
