This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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