So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
