Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
This baby is an asshole
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Randomize
