so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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