Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
