never play flip cup with pint glasses
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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