well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
