If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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