At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she told me i tasted like america
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
