I think my fart just growled at me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
