I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
