Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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