My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he thought i was a dude.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
