He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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