It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize