talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
