I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize