My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize