I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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