This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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