i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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