how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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