Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
