did you get engaged???
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
