i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
