I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
