Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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