I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
