He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
as a side note pls kill me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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