Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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