just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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