i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
