Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize