How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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