Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
