he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
