so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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