Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize