The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
grandma shit on top of the toilet
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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