She announced her abortion via fbk
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
