the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize