why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
