I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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