he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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